I've got time right now. So I'm gonna write more. I'm gonna expound upon Silentwordz thoughts. There really is no substitute for human contact. I don’t mean just general interaction. I mean actual touching. Doesn’t have to be sexual or even intimate. Hugs are great; something I’ve just re-learned in the last couple of years. Pats on the shoulder. Brush of the legs. It’s all good. And it’s all missed when it’s not there.

My favorite seems to be dancing. Kinda an odd format to be seeking human interaction but it works for me. With the right song or the right person, you can be right there face to face. Or back to back. Or back to front; front to back. It’s quite humorous. Well a smile is on my face, so something’s good. It doesn’t have to be freaking, though I don’t mind that. Simply grooving to the music in synch with someone else? That’s heady. I don’t wanna lose the beat. This weekend we had a “freak train.” Those are usually more joking than not. I was on next to the end. The girl on the end, looking back along the rest of the train, said something abt them not having any rhythm. I can only hope she wasn’t including me in that. I’ve been told I do have rhythm. Laters, the same girl was behind me, so I backed up so we could be back to back dancing, joining our two cabooses to make a bigger train.  Somehow that worked, worked really well. I think we were all amazed we could move that well together. I don’t know how drunk they all were. I wasn’t. Two drinks won’t buzz me.

If I concentrate, but not too hard, I can move with the music. I love that. I’m working really hard at being able to stay on the dance floor by myself. It’s a hard thing for me. Something I’m completely conscious of. I still can’t really start out by myself. It’s best if a group us go and they wander off but there’s still good music on. I worked on that on Sunday. I stayed mostly dancing once we got started. I wanted the others to come back, but I wasn’t sweating it that they didn’t. I was just enjoying the music and the dancing for what it was.

There’s more I want to say, but I’m trying to stick to the theme of human touch here. Dancing is an easy way for me to get my fill of it. Saturday, I did get a back massage. But not all touch is good! Eek! It was a lil too rough for me and Sunday my back was sore. I could almost still feel the fingers pressing on my back. It wasn’t intentional; it couldn’t have been intentional, not from that girl. Maybe others enjoy it like that. There was more casual touching among us all, but nothing else really stands out. Just the bladder incident. I’m realizing again looks can be deceiving. Or maybe it’s just preconceived notions? Maybe I assumed what she was like before I knew her. Maybe that’s why I was caught off guard. Her ass comment caught me off guard as well. But that just made me laugh.

Then again others are freer with their bodies. It’s not such a big deal if someone touches them. I’m not that open. I couldn’t be the one saying “high, no higher” until their hand is at my breasts. I can’t do that. Not in public, not even in jest. I can be the one to go along with it, but not the instigator.

There’s the other side. When it’s in appropriate, unappreciated. I prolly veer more towards being too cautious, but it seems better than the alternative. You don’t want to be the one crossing boundaries. Stepping over the line. Making ppl wonder why you’re acting like that. Help me if I ever become like that!