So I keep ending up in these weird situations. I’m not even really sure how I manage it. I definitely am not trying, but it still happens. Take last night- supposed to be just a simple night out at the Savoy for a friend of a friend’s birthday. I can’t really call Karen a friend, I barely know her, but she and her gf are nice; I’d like to get to know them better. So I figured it’d be an easy night, no trouble to make it into work on a Saturday morning at 9 am. I’m tired after the gym last night. Barely manage to get thru a quick dinner and shower. By the time I get to the Savoy it’s almost 10 pm. I’m already thinking abt how early all these girls are gonna be leaving. When I see A1 arriving just a head of me, I think I’m good; it’s fine. Get inside, not too many ppl; it’s still kinda early. Wish Karen “happy birthday.” Now what? Only ppl I really know & talk to are A1 & P1. I haven’t seen P1 since the April book club meeting. So I dance and dance and dance a little more. It’s easy when there’s good music. Don’t have to worry abt trying to make lame small talk with near strangers. Hell, you don’t even need to know everyone’s name. I’m more comfortable moving on the dance floor than just standing awkwardly around a table of strangers. Somehow I end up being the last person dancing with some girl I wasn’t introduced to. She was a good dancer and not too bad of a looker, wearing a Superman t-shirt. But since she never even smiled, I don’t think she was all that nice. So while I’m dancing with Super Girl, I see a girl waving at me from the edge of the dance floor. I’m trying to figure out who she is from P1 & A1’s circle. As she comes closer, I realize that it’s someone I know after all. It’s the girl that I had two dates with back in April and hadn’t seen since then. Date Girl comes over, gives me a big ol’ hug, says she hoped I’d be there, and then goes back to her friends. A lil later, Super Girl and I stop dancing- without ever talking, mind you. As I’m walking past Date Girl, she introduces me to her 3 friends. It’s a lil weird, I’m not sure what I’m supposed to be saying, and so I go back the birthday group. There’s more awkwardness cuz A1’s ex and her new gf have arrived. When I pass by the ex, I exchange a half hug with her. I’ve made my peace with her months ago and can now tolerate her. I dunno what their deal is, nor do I really want to know. If they’re not talking fine- they don’t gotta go be making it awkward for everyone else. Especially when there are so many other ppl around. I don’t even think they even spoke to each other that night. I slip outside to give M2 a call. See if she is still picking up M1 and heading over to the Savoy later. M2 isn’t picking up M1 until 11:30 at Shoreline Amphitheater. It’s only 10:30 and I’ve done all I care to do at the Savoy. The good songs have already played, and by some fluke I danced to them. Hardly anyone was dancing at the time. But I can deal with that. As long as I’m not the only one person dancing, I can handle it. It’s hot inside and I’m tired of just standing around like a bump on the wall. Everyone seems paired off. And I’m just not in a meet & greet kinda mood. I don’t wanna go up to someone new at the table and introduce myself. There’s ppl at the table that I first met a year ago, and I’ve never had an actual conversation with them. Majority of the ppl though I’ve never even seen before. The drink line is long. It’s starting to get crowded inside. Even the bathroom line is long. So I go back outside. Meander over to my car. Grab out a water. Decide to just walk around the apartments across the street. I have walked around the block before. But I was always walking off the alcohol as I downed my water. Last night, I wasn’t drinking. So I just wanted some alone time. Kill some time before M2 & M1 arrive. When I walk back to the front of the Savoy, I pass Date Girl standing on the corner with one of her friends. They’re standing kinda close; I don’t want to interrupt. Date Girl looks up and sees me. She calls me back over. Tells me that they’re leaving, just waiting for a friend to come outside. We chat a bit abt the SJ Pride festivities that are happening this weekend. Date Girl tells me I should come Sunday back to the Savoy for their party. I went last year. Date Girl asks if I remember where she lives, that I should come over and play some time. She mentions the magnet from Boston. She turns to her friend and explains that I brought her back a magnet from my trip. Date Girl doesn’t say that it was back in April. Yes, this is two months later- but she asks after her magnet! As fate would have it, I’ve got the stupid magnet in my car. So we all head over to my car, and I give her the frog magnet with “Boston” written on it. I joke that it looks like it’s been done in pen. The frog is atrocious and I’ve been wondering what the fuck I’m supposed to do with it. I couldn’t chuck it, cuz what if later Date Girl and I meet back up. But now that’s done and over with. Finito. Oh did I forget to say that during this whole conversation she’s holding hands with her “friend?” Once again, I return to the front of the Savoy. The half of the birthday group that I know is all out front. They make me smile for a few pics. I’m really not feeling it, but it’s a good cause so I try to fake it. P1 and her friend are leaving. A1 and her friend are leaving. Jamie & Nancy are already gone. It’s only 11:30 and they’re leaving. Karen says she and her gf are staying until midnight. I give M2 another call. Let her know that Date Girl is gone- they want to see/meet her. I leave it up to M2 abt coming. She says since they’re already down here, they’ll come. Back inside. More awkwardness around the birthday group’s table. At least this time I get a stool to sit on. Karen & gf go dance, I tag along. Nod at A1’s ex again. Dancing’s alright. They start to replay all those good songs that I’ve already danced to. It’s much more crowded and hot on the dance floor. But that’s better than being empty. They don’t want to dance anymore, but go outside for a smoke. I step in the bathroom. By the time, I get outside I don’t see Karen or her gf. M2 & M1 still aren’t there. So I just take a seat in one of the plastic chairs lined up out front. After a few minutes, they arrive. Thank god, someone I actually know is here! Someone I would like to talk to. Someone I can dance with. But wait M1’s cold, tired and hungry. M2 is making faces with her Mike’s Hard Lemonade. What’s going on here? I’ve been waiting for them for over an hour. It’s nearly midnight now. And we’re just sitting on the couch all dull -ike. Did I miss the memo that it was the Friday closest to the 13th, so it’ll be a weird one? I could’ve just stayed home. Read or watched a movie. Been well rested. Neither wants to go dance. M2’s just drinking her lemonade. M1 had couple of large beers at her concert. Her buzz is wearing off. Now she’s hungry. I’m hungry too, but don’t want to rush M2 and her fabulous lemonade. Now I’ve had that stuff before. I had wanted pear cider and the bartender gave me that as the closest thing. That’s like saying a baseball is similar to an orange. Sure they’re both small and round, but the similarity ends there. Cider and the lemonade are both non-beer alcoholic drinks served in a bottle, but that's all they have in common. Now it’s time for a lil more awkwardness, cuz I haven’t had enough of it just yet. M2 gets a couple of mysterious phone calls. On the last one, I hear her say that we’re still here at the Savoy. I’m a smart girl. I can put two and two together. I know who is gonna be walking up any minute. This isn’t the first time they’ve pulled this on me. Just cuz she’s no longer such a good friend and I hardly talk to her anyone, doesn’t mean you have to spring her on me. I don’t do that to anyone else. I let them know who’s gonna be there. If they don’t wanna come, or need some time to adjust, then that’s only fair. It’s not gonna help the situation, if you’re gonna be all sneaky abt it. Anyways, sure enough here comes C1. The three of us are still just bumps on the log of the couch. Not much happening there. After C1 talks with M1 & M2 briefly, M2 sends me off to go dance with C1. Awkward but not as bad as it could’ve been. I was however surprised to see that J1 was there with C1. I don’t know how much they are hanging out still. After dancing a little bit, the two girls who don’t want to dance join us. By now I’m tired; my feet aren’t holding up so well to dancing so much in my sandals. I hadn’t thought I’d dance all that much when I put them on. I just need more shoes. Nothing more really happened. We danced until closing, which wasn’t even an hour later. We’re standing outside trying to decide if we should go eat or if it’s too late. Everyone breaks off into small groups to talk. I end up with M2. She's just smoking, so she blows smoke at me. Somehow I get her to try inhaling thru her nostril. It burns. I laugh. Then M2 nods her head at me a couple times. I finally look behind me and there’s a girl standing right there. She's kinda cute, and I smile, but I know she's not waiting to hit on either of us. She comes over and says hi. Turns out she's drunk and an acquaintance of J1’s. Even though J1 isn’t standing with us right then the girl wanted to come over and say hi. Her name turns out to be C1! She explains to us that she’s Sicilian, not Mexican. We give her a ride home. It's just down the street and too late for her to take the bus in our opinion. Uneventfully, we end the night at Denny’s. Not the one nearest the Savoy. I think that one has a big taboo on it now. I try to eat well, but it’s hard when there’s not much to choose from. I could’ve gone to sleep right at the table, but I manage to wait until after I’ve driven them back to M1’s car. Get home to a barking dog. Forget that the neighbor's dog is staying over. She’s a loud lil runt. Two cats cowering on my bed. Next thing, I knew it was after 8 this morn and I have to get a run on to make it to work on time. I’ve spent the morning typing this blog and answering the very occasional phone call. Only another hour to go. Then we’ll see if today proves to be any better than last night.

I have been so busy this week at work. Things do 180 all the time. Last week was slow, I remember, most of us barely working. I don’t know what has made the difference this week. I don’t really even have the time to be writing this blog, but you know what, sometimes even I get to take a break. I’m even entitled to spend it however I’d like to. If I had more time I might go into how my weekend was, well since the last post. I did make it to the park to read for a couple hours. That was nice and relaxing. So much so it made me lazy for the rest of the evening and I didn’t join my friends at the Café Saturday night. Sunday I was again feeling the itch to be outside. So I called M2 first. She said she was abt to call me to ask if I wanted to go to Santa Cruz with them. I assumed Santa Cruz = beach. I didn’t find out until they were coming to pick me up, they wanted to go to Santa Cruz Pride. It wasn’t bad, but it just wasn’t what I was in the mood for. The Pride festivities themselves were quite small at a small park. More was happening at the Dakota, but it was just so dark and crowded inside. I just wasn’t feeling it. I didn’t want to complain, nor did I wanna be fake abt it. So I’m just that it just made me more distant. I’m coming down to the nitty-gitty on the gym. Pamela is pushing for results. And this late in the game, I’m not really feeling it. Sure I want results, but if I haven’t gotten them in the first 6 months or 50 sessions, why is the last hard month going to convince me to buy more. No, I’m not gonna totally give up on working out at the gym. But I doubt I am going to continue to pay someone to torture me at it. It’s hard and it’s not something that says with me all day. I guess I’m supposed to be stretching every day, but I rarely think of it and never when I can actually be doing it. Cardio 5 times a week seems excessive and very hard to actually do, when trying to maintain my social life as well. I want to make a change but not to the extent I can’t do anything else that I consider fun. Whether that is hanging out with friends, drinking or eating ice cream. I don’t see that it’s an even exchange. Monday we worked on legs, so tell me why is it my back & shoulders that are sore still?